The Aristocats (1970)

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman
Written by Ken Anderson, Larry Clemmon, Eric Cleworth, Vance Garry, Julius Svendsen, Frank Thomas and Ralph Wright. Based on The Aristocats by Tom McGowan and Tom Rowe.
Premiered December 11, 1970
78 minutes
Rated G

Synopsis
In Paris, France in 1910, rich widow Madam Adelaide Bonfamille (Hermione Baddeley) loves her cat Duchess (Eva Gabor) and her three kittens, artistic Toulouse (Gary Dubin), musical Berlioz (Dean Clark), and prissy Marie (Liz English) so much that she decides to leave all her worldly possessions and wealth to them after her passing. This does not go over well with her put upon butler Edgar (Roddy Maude-Roxby), so he decides to kidnap the feline family, dump them out in the country and make himself heir apparent. On the outskirts of Paris, Duchess and her kittens are fortunate enough to meet Thomas O'Malley (Phil Harris), a smooth-talking alley cat who offers to help return them to their beloved owner.

Before We Begin
I have always been a cat person. This is partially because my mom absolutely refused to allow my dad and I to get a dog because she was certain that she would have to be the one to take care of it. Which is definitely how it would have gone, by the way. But I, like most children, wanted a pet and a cat seemed like a good compromise given that once you show them the litter box, cats pretty much take care of themselves. So when I was six, I got my first cat, Tuffy. Then came Simba (Disney fan!), Susie Q., and Louis who I had for about fifteen years. Currently, I have Milly a.k.a. Millicent Andromache Moneypenny [MY LAST NAME]-[MY FIANCE'S LAST NAME] and I love, love, LOVE her! #fuzzyface

If I did not like cats, The Aristocats would surely rank lower. After all, it's a feline rehashing of One Hundred and One Dalmatians with a little bit of Lady and the Tramp thrown in--or vice-versa. It was released in 1970, remember, and was the last movie approved by Walt Disney before his death so it's a bit of a mess, but certainly not to the degree of Robin Hood. There was a lot of floundering going on. It shows.

Mötley Müsings

•  Okay...I normally don't comment on the VHS previews but remember CD-ROMs!? And Sega?

•  This French guy singing the opening number was in 1958's Best Picture winner Gigi.

•  Oh look, animation we'll see later on is used in the opening, just like in Robin Hood. The laziness has started already.

•  Why Paris 1910? I get why Paris, because London in Dalmatians. But this movie—given its ridiculous premise—could take place any time, any where.

•  Frou Frou! Disney horses are always awesome.

•  They do a great job of setting up Edgar as trustworthy.

•  “Could we take the elevator this time, sir?”
“Elevators are for old people!”

•  Madame Bonfamille has a nice figure given that she's 80some years old.

•  Edgar with his pants down! Edgar with his pants down!

•  Scratchy as fuck.

•  Adelaide and Georges were totally lovers once upon a time.

•  I like Madame. She's obviously lived a very full life and doesn't give two fucks about society.

•  Edgar...as a villain. Pretty weak sauce, but you can understand his frustration. And his room is pretty shitty given what a huge mansion he lives in.

•  Did cats really live 20 years at the turn of the century? I mean without the standard vet care of today?

•  Marie is annoying. She has two pink bows.

•  Um...where is their father? Why is there no mention of him? It's Disney, so Duchess is obviously a widow. So why no mention of "When your father was alive...?"

•  “Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them.”

•  Oh, Eva Gabor. What a good casting choice.

•  Okay...that's a lot of sleeping pills! You don't want to kill them, Edgar...right?

•  “Mama, he did it again!”

•  That kitten plays the piano better than I ever will.

•  Edgar has roofied the cats and is taking them out to the country.

•  Napoleon and Lafayette. The southern hound dogs. They're pretty much useless and they don't fit because they're southern. They give Edgar some trouble to an otherwise super easy task. I mean, he puts them in their bassinet cat bed! If he wanted them to die, he would have put them in a sack or a box...like he does later in the movie.

•  “How come you always grab the tender part for yourself?”

•  Okay they're lucky they didn't die after being thrown out like that.

•  Tolouse remembers Edgar being the culprit.

•  Yeah! That poor old woman!

•  A mouse named Roquefort!

•  Here comes O'Malley! What a smoothie.

•  “It's pure O'Malley, baby.”

•  He's taking this single mom thing pretty well.

•  DISNEY NEEDS TO MAKE MORE CAT MOVIES.

•  “Sacred bleu!”

•  Edgar reveals his dastardly plan to the animals. To be fair, he thinks they're dumb.

•  Why are people down on this movie!?

•  Duchess is all pampered, O'Malley knows the truth.

•  Marie is always getting in trouble

•  “Marie's the caboose!”

•  Some people hate the Gabble sisters, but they're British geese! They're wearing bonnets!

•  “DEEPER!”

•  “Look, they got rubber feet.”

•  “Hiya, chicks.”

“We're not chickens, we're geese.”
“No. I thought you were swans.”

•  Some people don't like these geese. I am not one of those people.

•  “Abigail! Am-EL-ia!”

•  “Prime Country Goose a la Provencale, stuffed with chestnuts? And basted in white wine.”
“Basted? He's been marinated in it.”
“Dreadful. Being British, I would have preferred sherry.”

•  This is every drunk person everywhere.

•  “You know something? I like Uncle Waldo.”

•  All right, Edgar has confessed to Frou Frou that it was he who catnapped (#sorrynotsorry) Duchess and her kittens and now he's headed back to the scene of the crime to get his hat and umbrella back. WHY? How else are the police—if they happened to find the basket or something—going to know to look there? And so what if they find at hat and an umbrella? Unless they have Edgar's name on them—which is never stated, is it?--he has nothing to worry about. DNA wasn't a thing then! DNA was barely a thing when O.J. Simpson was on trial!

•  If Napoleon and Lafayette were cut from this movie, I might miss them. Might.

•  I'd be more worried about leaving his sidecar behind. That's far more traceable.

•  And what if Madame needs him in the middle of night?

•  This VHS looks surprisingly okay.

•  And here's Scat Cat and his band of casually racist stereotypes! But it's okay because they're cats.

•  Wow. I am liking this way more than I anticipated.

•  PsYcHeDeLiA!

•  “Groovy, mama! Groovy!” #70s

•  “If you want to turn me on...” whoa.

•  Dating life of a single mother...Disney gives it a go.

•  The tales intertwined! How can you not like that? So cute.

•  Madame obviously loves cats. She's probably take Thomas in, especially seeing how her other cats respond to him.

•  “Well, we almost had a father.” What about your REAL father? What's the story there!?

•  Back to the ritzy neighborhood. Thomas isn't as opposed to domestication as the Tramp is.

•  Here's Edgar's true villainy: he pretends to be sympathetic to Madame who he's known for decades and he turns on her because of moola. True, she's crazy, and he has to put up with her crazy friends. And his room is kind of shitty....but he's not in a Cinderella situation. He escalates, too. At first he just wants to abandon them. They might live, they might die. Out of sight, out of mind. But when they come back, he gets PISSED.

•  “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty...”

•  He doesn't give them any food or water!

•  All right. Scat Cat to the rescue. Action-packed ending. I'll be chilling over here.

•  Poetic justice.

•  See? I said Madame would welcome him with open arms.

•  “My home for all the alley cats of Paris...” You saw that coming.

•  Once Duchess "marries" Thomas, her name will be Duchess O'Malley, which is pretty fucking cool.

Final Thoughts

I misfired here. I totally like The Aristocats. Nothing On the Fence about it. I guess I thought it resembled One Hundred and One Dalmatians more than it actually does. My bad. Now, that being said, it's definitely one of Disney's weaker offerings. It's totally serviceable as an animated talking animal musical. Maybe I'm blinded by my fondness for cats. Fine. I like cats, therefore, I like this movie. Have the same exact story with dogs and it would rank much lower. Possibly lower than Dalmatians because at least Dalmatians would still have Sgt. Tibbs and Cruella de Vil to liven things up.

Duchess, the kittens, Roquefort, Frou Frou, Madame, Scat Cat and his band are all pleasantly charming characters. Thomas is my favorite because he is rough around the edges without the questionable past of say, the Tramp. Edgar as a villain is...weird. Weird because he is very different from all other Disney villains. Most of them ooze evil from every pore. Even the ones with Greed as their main ambition--Madame Medusa, Governor Radcliffe, Clayton--have some other underlying malice. Nearly all Disney villains are over the top in some way. Edgar fumbles and bumbles. He is the most human. Perhaps that's why he's everyone's least favorite; he, more than any other Disney villain, reminds Us of our mediocrity and our weakness.

The music is also serviceable, but not really necessary. Frankly, it serves as padding. "Ev'rybody Wants to Be a Cat" empirically wins Best in Show. And I appreciate the animation. The cats move like cats!

I think I've said everything I wanted to say. I get why The Aristocats is probably nobody's Desert Island Favorite Disney Animated Feature, but it doesn't deserve to be at the bottom of anyone's list, either.

Favorite Character

Thomas O'Malley

Favorite Moment -- Everything with the Gabble Sisters
Favorite Song -- "Thomas O'Malley" performed by Phil Harris

A quick word on Moana

When I started this blog, Disney's 56th animated feature Moana had not yet been released to theaters. As of this date (February 25, 2017) it has been released digitally, which means nothing to me since I will be purchasing a hard copy sometime in March. Even though Moana will soon be available for my viewing pleasure, I won't be blogging about it until I've watched it at least twice. That seems fair, right? My Zootopia post is a little frantic, I think. So while I'm sure you handful of readers out there are anxious for my take, you'll just have to wait.

Sincerely,
Disney Doxy

Tarzan (1999)

Directed by Kevin Lima and Chris Buck
Written by Tab Murphy, Bob Tzudiker, and Noni White. Based on the novel Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs.
Premiered June 12, 1999
88 minutes
Rated G

Synopsis
Deep in the African jungle, a human baby is adopted by a female gorilla Kala (Glenn Close) after his parents are brutally attacked by a vicious cheetah. Kala's mate and leader of the pack Kerchak (Lance Henriksen) disapproves of the human intrusion and refuses to accept the baby--now named Tarzan--as a part of the family. Many years later, Tarzan (Tony Goldwyn) is a grown man still struggling to find his place among his gorilla mates but  nonetheless has a gorilla friend, Terk (Rosie O'Donnell) and elephant friend, Tantor (Wayne Knight). Tarzan's world changes drastically with the arrival of biologist and researcher Archimedes Q. Porter (Nigel Hawthorne) and his beautiful, intelligent daughter Jane (Minnie Driver). As Tarzan and Jane connect, the Porters' guide Clayton (Brian Blessed) is eager to kidnap the gorillas to be sold.

Before We Begin -- Part Une (written c. December, 2016)
By the time I was eleven years old, I really didn't care about Disney movies anymore. I was one of those eleven year old girls that liked boys and embraced puberty rather than one of those eleven year old girls who desperately tried to cling to her childhood by keeping her Barbies around. I just didn't care when Tarzan came out, although, I was still watching the Disney channel and saw heaps of previews and promotional material. Yes, Deep Canvas and surfing Tarzan, sure, whatever, please show me more Britney Spears music videos, now.

I eventually did see Tarzan. On the Disney channel. Like, a year later. I was bored, because by then I was twelve, soon to be in the seventh grade, and it really wasn't happening. But since the Disney Independent Study Course of 2006, I have seen Tarzan a good many times. And...it's...okay part of the time...good some of the time. Just not my favorite.

Before We Begin -- Part Deux (written c. February, 2017)
Soooooooooo.....if you're paying attention to the timeliness in which these blogs are posted, you make have noticed a huge gap. True, Christmas was partly to blame. But the other part was Tarzan itself, a movie I just can't get excited about. A movie that feels like an absolute chore until I get into it. But, shit or get off the pot, right?

Mötley Müsings

• Looks good.

•  Ugh. Phil Collins. Why him? Obviously the producers/directors must have been fanboys.

•  Those are some HUGE sausage curls.

• The treehouse is badass, we can all agree.

• Tarzan's mom is pretty.

• I mean, why didn't the cheetah eat the baby! It's not like he couldn't smell it.

•  And the cheetah has a name. Well, I suppose the gorillas could have named him.

•  We're only 7 ½ minutes in. Oh boy.

• Mama gorilla saves baby. Kala.

• How would Kala know what he is?

• Honestly, she should probably consult her life partner before adopting a child.

• “Tarzan? Okay, he's your baby.” My reaction to basically everyone's baby name choices.

• “You'll Be in My Heart”. Best Original Song winner at the 1999 Academy Awards and the best song in the film. EASILY.

•  So green! I like the green.

•  All right, the Baby Tarzan section was okay, but this Kid Tarzan section is downright...arg, arg, grumble, grumble.

• Oh yeah. The days when you would put Rosie O'Donell in your movie...

• “Terk, can I come?”
“Yeah, if you could keep up. But, you know, you can't really keep up.”
HE DOESN'T QUITE FIT IN.

•  So is Terk his friend or not? More like a frenemy, it seems. She's far too concerned with fitting in with the other gorilla children. Which, this sort of thing is accurate to childhood, but Terk is still a jerk.

• The elephant hair mission...it just goes on, doesn't it?

• Emo Tarzan. Ugh...I just don't care about this child's problems. Why do I not have sufficient sympathy for him? Adult Tarzan is just fine.

• Time for another song. Montage: Tarzan tries to learn what he is. And he becomes a vine swinging, tree surfing adult. I'm coming aboard.

• Ah, Newman from Seinfeld, because NINETIES.

• That damn cheetah! How come the cheetah can't speak? Or does he just let his teeth and claws do the talking?

• The backgrounds in this are seriously amazing. Such texture!

• Kerchak, how can you still have a problem with Tarzan?

• A fart joke. Never a good sign.

• A gunshot! Humans! YAY! The good part of the movie.

• Maybe now is the time to talk a little bit about the book... Tarzan of the Apes was written by Edgar Rice Burroughs and published in 1912. Tarzan was the son of a pair of shipwrecked nobles—Lord and Lady Greystoke. The mom dies of, I don't know, let's just say “womanly sickness” and the dad is killed by Kerchak, the wicked leader of the apes. Tarzan is adopted by Kala, eventually kills Kerchak and becomes leader of the apes himself. Then along come the Porters who are accompanied by Tarzan's cousin, William Cecil Clayton, who is current Lord of Greystoke, because, you know, the original Lord went missing in the African jungle and somebody needed to do the job.

• Jane! One of the most underrated Disney heroines! Partly, because there is no way she can be a princess. (Just a lowly Lady if they followed through with Tarzan reclaiming his birthright as an English noble.

• Jane is a little bit of a rehashing of Belle. And not just because of the brown hair and yellow dress. (Love the bustle! Don't like the color. But they were obviously going for contrast against the GREEN GREEN GREEN of the jungle. Plus, something like safari gear always being khaki, I'm assuming.) But anyway, Jane is obviously intellectual and has an adventurous spirit, but she's far more neurotic and excitable compared to Belle. That also fits with the tone of the movie.

• Oh, and she has a short, eccentric, elderly father. Archimedes is cool, tho.

• Yes, love the bustle! The shorter hemline is inaccurate but the most practical part of her clothing for traveling through the jungle.

• And Tarzan's all twitterpated because HUMAN WOMAN.

• “Oh, look, bananas!” Minnie Driver is charming. A very good casting choice. Did you know the original Jane was American? #themoreyouknow

• This rescue is great. Definitely one of my favorite action sequences in all the DAFs.

• She's probably never seen a man that unclothed before.

• At least she tried to hit him for invading her personal space.

• “Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!”

• This is a very romantic and intimate scene.

• But here's “Trashin' the Camp” to come and fart all over this movie's earlier attempt at maturity. A total waste of time. Terk, Tantor, and friends marvel at Victorian technology and then destroy it. Let's not the forget the kids watching! They need something to entertain themselves seeing as how the previous scene was totally not for them.

• “And, Daddy, they took my boot! And I was saved! I was saved by a flying wild man in a loincloth!”

• Kerchak = Chief Powhatan. Tarzan = Pocahontas. Jane = John Smith.

• Oh good, Jane is wearing something far more practical.

• Damn, she can draw as well as a Disney animator.

• “Oh, shall I leave you and the blackboard alone for a moment?”

• “If I can teach a parrot to sing "God Save the Queen", then I can certainly teach this savage a thing or two.”

• The music...just doesn't lure me in.

• Tarzan falls in love with Jane while he learns about humanity. Jane starts wearing a camisole because it's probably way too fucking hot and humid in the jungle to keep wearing that long sleeved bustle getup.

• “Jane must stay with Tarzan.”

• Clayton uses Tarzan's love for Jane to get him to reveal the gorillas. Right from the Captain Hook playbook. "Even if you hadn't grown up a savage, you'd be lost. There are no trails through a woman's heart."

• IT'S A TRAP.

• So....yeah...I stopped watching this because I got bored...and now I'm back. With twenty-six minutes to go.

• Tarzan protects Clayton from angry Kerchak.

• Not a man, not a gorilla. WHERE DOES HE BELONG!?

• Kala helps him decide when she shows Tarzan's parents' badass treehouse.

• Dapper.

• I don't like Terk.

• But, oh no! Clayton is going to kidnap all the gorillas!

• “I've had it with you and your emotional constipation!” Okay...that's pretty funny.

• You guys really weren't suspicious? Really?

•  Animal friends to the rescue! They've got to be good for something.

• How is it suddenly nighttime?

• Strangled by vines...and Tarzan tried to save him.

• Kerchak is all humbled and calls him son...this is so...lazy?

• And it's raining because SAD. (Wow, I'm getting bitchy.)

• Is he going to take his place on Pride Rock and roar? Nope, just a chest beat.

• Jane jumps ship. Nice kiss. Very nice. Yes, yes.

• Jane has a bikini now. Boy is she going to miss some things....some feminine hygiene type things.

Final Thoughts

Well...I think it's very telling that it took me three separate tries and several months to get through Tarzan, don't you think? I obviously don't like it that much. I like portions of it, certainly. Pretty much anytime Jane is on screen and speaking. I like Tarzan and Archimedes, too. If Clayton were given a deeper motivation beyond making paper, he would be a more compelling villain. I can't help but think of the Beast vs. Gaston in Beauty and the Beast as an example of hero/villain foils. Who is the real beast? (Which also applies to Quasimodo and Frollo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame too. We'll get there.) The movie tries to put this out there in a half-assed sort of way. ("Not a man like you!") But there's just not enough. Also the loving adoptive mother and the cold-shouldered father figure seem...overplayed? There is nothing really fresh here.

It's a common belief that Tarzan marked the end of the Disney Renaissance. It's a belief indeed held by me. Tarzan just feels tired, you know? Another big, epic musical. Another heteronormative love story. Another Academy Award nomination (and win) in the Best Original Song category. It's a little paint by numbers and the burn out is showing around the edges. No wonder Disney wanted to branch out with something new. And hey, fine. Dinosaur is a worthy experiment, at least visually. Fantasia 2000 finally got Roy Disney to shut up. I don't really have the time to get into The Emperor's New Groove, but the end result is zany, buddy picture fun. But not everything worked (Atlantis, cough! Brother Bear, cough, cough!) which is why we're now back to singing princesses. Fine by me.

The hallowed Renaissance had to come to end some time and it could have been worse. The stunning visuals and Jane Porter save Tarzan from the Meh pile and just barely at that.

(On a personal and rather selfish note,  my entire childhood was basically enveloped by the Disney Renaissance. The Little Mermaid was released when I was 1 ½ and Tarzan was released when I was eleven. #humblebrag.)

Favorite Character

Jane Porter

Favorite Moment -- Tarzan and Jane's first meeting.
Favorite Song -- "You'll Be in My Heart" performed by Glenn Close and Phil Collins