The Jungle Book (1967)

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman
Written by Larry Clemmons, Ralph Wright, Ken Anderson, Vance Gerry, Floyd Norman and Bill Peet. Based on The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling.
Premiered October 18, 1967
78 minutes
Rated G

Synopsis
Ten years after a baby human boy is adopted by a she-wolf in the Indian jungle, the wolf pack is dismayed by the return of the vicious tiger Shere Khan (George Sanders) who hates all human. They decide the "man cub", Mowgli (Bruce Reitherman), must return to the "man village" for his own safety (and their's as well). Mowgli is tricked into going on the journey with the pragmatic panther Bagheera (Sebastian Cabot), but he would rather stay in the jungle, insisting he is savvy enough to do so. On his own, Mowgli bonds with a care-free bear named Baloo (Phil Harris), evades the hypnotic python Kaa (Sterling Holloway) and is kidnapped by the orangutan King Louie (Louis Prima) who is interested in learning Mowgli's knowledge of fire. 

Before We Begin
This was the last DAF ever touched by Walt Disney himself before he died in 1966,  nearly a year before the theatrical release. But he had his hands in the production and saw a lot of it. And it did really well at the box office. Like really, really well. Like the highest grossing movie of 1967 well, which means it made more money than The Graduate and Bonnie & Clyde. Yup.

As for me, I was given a VHS of The Jungle Book soon after its 1991 release. You might recall from my Fantasia review that I did not play favorites with my Disney videos; I watched them equally. Even though there were only three female characters (a wolf, an elephant, and a singing girl), let alone no princesses, I rather enjoyed The Jungle Book and to this day, I rank it surprisingly high.

Mötley Müsings

• Just putting this out there: The Jungle Book is a really shitty title for a movie. And kind of a shitty title for a book too.

• Mowgli, yet another Disney orphan. Parents died in a canoe accident? And like Tarzan’s parents, I wonder why the beast who ate the parents didn’t eat the most helpless thing!

• I think there are actual cases where she-wolfs have raised humans.

• “I knew there’d be no problem with the mother, thanks to maternal instinct.” BOO!

• Tarzan vibes.

• So, Mowgli is ten years old.

• Sher Khan killed his parents, right? Right? Like who else? (I bet he did in the 2016 live action remake. Still haven't seen it.) Note: I started watching the live action version on Netflix and that's totally what happened.

• I just realized that Mowgli doesn’t give a shit about leaving his wolf parents. What a dick!

• I haven’t watched this in so long!

• Bagheera is my favorite.

• “Oh, my ssssssinussssss.”

• That baby elephant has a Beatles haircut.

• “I’m putting in for a transfer to another herd.”

• This British colonel schtick is great.

• “Here it comes. The Victoria Cross bit again.”

• Real elephants apparently have great memories.

• Yeah…Mowgli’s a little shit.

• Bagheera and Tigger have similar designs. Bummer.

• Here comes Baloo.

• Well, I’ll give you this, Mowgli isn’t a coward.

• “Oh no! It’s Baloo. That shifty, stupid jungle bum.”

• “Right on the button!”

• “The Bare Necessities” is the best song in the movie, but not my favorite. Also, it was nominated for Best Original Song but lost to one the worst winners ever from Doctor Doolittle.

• The monkeys kidnap Mowgli and take him to King Louie who wants to learn how to act human and “make fire”. K.

• I am entertained.

• “While you create a disturbance, I’ll rescue Mowgli.” And that’s exactly what happens.

• I like Baloo and Bagheera doing this “two gay dads” thing.

• “Well you don’t exactly look like a basket of fruit yourself.”

• Moral of the story: Parenting is hard.

• Again, I’m bugged that Mowgli doesn’t want to go back to his wolf parents. This would work much better if he was just sort of feral…raised by ALL the jungle but no one in particular.

• I love how Bagheera is both feline and masculine.

• You’ve been calling him a bear, of course he has an identity crisis.

• Sher Khan ain’t no Tigger.

• Hey look, it’s Bambi’s mom.

• George Sanders…such a villainy voice.

• The characters are so delightfully British (except Baloo who is an ugly American for sure).

• Kaa is a tricky dick.

• This film was released in 1967 and yet no sitars!

• Sher Khan is a sophisticated bully.

• These vultures were supposed to be voiced by the Beatles, which would have been AMAZING. But they had better things to do. Like writing Sgt. Pepper and being bigger than Jesus.

• “LET’S DO SOMETHING!”

• Holy Bass!

• Mowgli is super brave and super stupid.

• “Now I’m going to close my eyes and count to ten. It makes the chase more interesting. For me.”

• Baloo to the rescue.

• Fire via the Hand of God deus ex machina lightning.

• And then what happens? Does he burn to death or what?

• What a lovely eulogy.

• Since Mowgli kicked Sher Khan’s ass—his biggest adversary—he should be able to stay in the jungle now. I mean, if the biggest issue was Sher Khan and Sher Khan is gone now...am I wrong?

• I. Love. This. Song.

• I thought only married Indian women wore the red dot.

• “She did that on purpose.”
“Obviously.”

• Her “come hither” glance is not age appropriate.

• And Mowgli just entered puberty.

Final Thoughts

Okey dokey. What brilliant thoughts and analysis do I have to share on The Jungle Book?

None. Sorry about that.

All I can say is it's a movie I enjoy. Yes, the main character is a bit of an annoying little shit, but thanks to nostalgia, I hardly notice. Bagheera rocks. "My Own Home" is hauntingly beautiful.

Peace.

Favorite Character

Bagheera

Favorite Moment -- The end
Favorite Song -- "My Own Home" performed by Darleen Carr

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961)

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman, Hamilton Luske and Clyde Geronimi
Written by Bill Peet. Based on The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith.
Premiered January 25, 1961
79 minutes
Rated G

Synopsis
Dalmatian Pongo (Rod Taylor) wants his bachelor songwriter "pet" Roger (Ben Wright) to get married and settle down. On a walk, Pongo sees a lovely woman named Anita (Lisa Davis) and her Dalmatian Perdita (Cate Bauer) and orchestrates a meeting. Romance blossoms and Roger and Anita marry while a litter of puppies soon follows Pongo and Perdita's union. However, trouble begins when Anita's insane school friend Cruella de Vil (Betty Lou Gerson) decides she wants the puppies for herself. Not trusting Cruella's intentions (which secretly are to make a Dalmatian skin coat), Roger refuses to sell the puppies which leads to their eventual kidnapping. When the humans fail to convict Cruella, Pongo and Perdita set out to find their children.

Before We Begin
The big story here is that Disney developed a new animation technique to cope with the millions upon millions of Dalmatian spots in this movie. It's called xerography and it's the thing that makes the 60s, 70s, and 80s DAFs look different from the ones in the 30s, 40s, and 50s. Basically, animation frames were Xeroxed to save time and the animator's wrists. This left pencils marks on the cells, which gives everything a "scratchy" quality.

And here's what I think about that:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I was never a huge fan of One Hundred and One Dalmatians. And I'm pretty sure it's because it's a dog movie and I'm not a dog person. (Team Cat all the way.) There's also that old chestnut...no princesses. And now...well...I truly am On the Fence because I recognize the good but get hung up on the not so good.

Mötley Müsings
• This is the first DAF obviously set in the present--if you neglect all of the package films, which I certainly choose to do. You can't tell with Bambi. (That movie could have taken place yesterday, although there'd probably be a bunch of Keystone Light cans next to the fire pit.) And Dumbo...well, fine, Dumbo is probably set in the 1940s. But in this there are cars! And magazines! And television!

• "It was a beautiful spring day...a tedious time of year for bachelors."

• I love this part! Humans looking like their dogs!

• "A little too short coupled....NOPE."

• Anita is very pretty.

• Why isn't pipe smoking cool? I mean, if you're going to smoke...a pipe is dignified.

• "He's settled down on the grass and puff his pipe and that'd be it."

• Perdita checking out Pongo.

• This is awesome. I mean really.

• Wow...I wonder how long they dated before getting married.

• "Just right for two couples who were just starting out..."

• My first complaint: Nanny. Why do they need a maid? There are only two of them. And it doesn't look like Anita has a job!

• Oh, they're cute.

• All right. Here comes Cruella. "Your dear and devoted old schoolmate."

What?

1. Anita, at the most, has got to be around 30. Cruella is a corpse. How did they go to school at the same time?
2. These women seem like they would have run in separate social circles even if they attended school at the same time.
3. But even if they were friends then, why are they still acquainted now?
4. And how are they so well acquainted? Cruella knows where Anita lives? That she was recently married? That she has a pregnant Dalmatian? This film takes place well before Facebook allowed us to send the personal details of our lives out into the abyss.


• "Anita, you're such a wit."

• "Here, dog, here."

• This is pretty bleak...dead puppy, but rubbing it will do the trick. Sure.

• And here's Cruella again...out of nowhere.

• "You can't possibly afford to keep them." TRUE.

• "BLAST THIS WRETCHED, WRETCHED PEN!"

• "Anita, we're through..." Yeah...what were they before?

• REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT WESTERNS BE UBIQUITOUS ON TV??? I didn't know that was the case on British TV.

• "No dog's better than Dad."

• Kittens are way cuter than puppies.

• Why do the puppies have American accents?

• TV...bringing the family together for 65 years.

• Yikes! Jasper's fingernails!

• Nanny is brave for taking them on.

• Hmmm...I wonder you put them up to this...

• Look at Cruella's nostrils! And her pale complexion and wraith like figure! She's clearly a cokehead.

• "Is she calling to confess?"

• You know...I don't like barking.

• There's Jock and Peg from Lady and the Tramp.

• Heh. The poodle's name is Coco.

• And that looks suspiciously like Trusty...

• Disney horses are always awesome.

• They call him Sergeant Tibbs!

• I like the Colonel's design.

• This Twilight Bark thing just keeps going doesn't it?

• "Fiddle faddle and rot, sir."

• In goes Tibbs, the unsung hero of this movie.

• Hell Hall. Awesome.

• "They're over there by the TV."

• This movie has a lot of drinking and smoking.

• Tapping the ash into the naked sandwich. (That sounds far dirtier than it is, I promise.)

• Still lotsa barking. Pongo and Perdita set out.

• BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

• Killing 99 puppies would take a long time. :-/

• What's My Crime? is hilarious. Nice ticking clock.

• All right. Once the puppies exit Hell Hall it's just dull for me.

• I like that Pongo and Perdita are both searching for the puppies. #feministdisney

• "She's a devil...a witch." Come on, Perdita. You can do better than that.

• Oh, joy. Slapstick.

• "My toes are froze."

• This collie is majestic.

• Can dogs drink cow's milk? Blecch.

• Rolling in the soot...this was actually from the book.

• "Crazy woman driver."

• And then what happens to Cruella? It's not like the dogs can say it was her. No justice?

• Hey. It's Christmastime. Sure.

• This is insane. You cannot have that many dogs, even if you have a huge estate. How do you keep them all straight? How do you keep them from breeding with each other? And to think, this whole thing could have been avoided if they just had Pongo and Perdita fixed.

Final Thoughts

Hey, I like One Hundred and One Dalmatians just fine. If I ignore the absurdity of Cruella and Anita knowing each other past high school. Which is hard for me to do. Perhaps if these women lived in a small town, where everybody knows everybody's business, instead of one of the world's largest cities, I could buy it. The live action remake from 1996 (yeah, it's not a new thing) has Anita as Cruella's employee which works. It explains why Cruella would know things about Anita and why Anita would be respectful and indulgent towards Cruella. But whatever. Character development wasn't as important to Disney back then. (And then the film might be more about Cruella's Regina George-esque tyranny over Anita and how it affects her marriage...which would be an interesting film, probably, but no good for kids.)

As for the rest of it...yeah. Just fine. I don't dread it, but I won't pick this one off the shelf when I'm craving Disney on a rainy afternoon.

(One last thought: I appreciate that Roger and Anita are portrayed as a child-free couple. I'm aware they're newlyweds, but there isn't any sort of "When we have a litter of our own..." type of comments. Their hands will be plenty full with the 101 dogs. And if that's what they want, good for them. It's also nice to see a Disney couple past the wedding day.)

Favorite Character

Sgt. Tibbs

Favorite Moment -- Pongo looks for prospective mates for Roger and himself.
Favorite Song -- "Kanine Krunchies"

The Sword in the Stone (1963)

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman
Written by Bill Peet. Based on The Sword in the Stone by T.H. White.
Premiered December 25, 1963
79 minutes
Rated G

Synopsis
In the Dark Ages, Uther Pendragon leaves England without an heir and vows whoever draws his sword Excalibar from a stone shall be King of England. Many years later, a young orphan boy named Arthur, nicknamed Wart (Rickie Sorenson, Richard Reitherman, and Robert Reitherman) works as a drudge for his athletic, boorish foster brother Kay (Norman Alden) and his father Sir Ector (Sebastian Cabot). However, Wart's luck changes when he meets magical wizard Merlin (Karl Swenson) who claims Wart is destined for bigger things. By turning Wart into a fish, a squirrel and a bird, Merlin teaches him valuable life lessons such as "brains over brawn" as he prepares him for a life on the throne.

Before We Begin
Ah...The Sword in the Stone. One of several DAFs I didn't grow up with. I do have vague memories of watching it with some kids while my dad drank beer with their dad and we were left in the care of Uncle TV and Auntie VCR. I remember having absolutely no opinion. It lacked princesses, therefore I never requested to rent it after that initial viewing.

In later years, I found it charming enough but sorely lacking in various ways.

Mötley Müsings
• Fact: I'm not all that up on Arthurian legend. I've seen some movies and a pretty terrible Starz miniseries called Camelot. I have not read The Once and Future King.

• The book! I love the book opening!

• Sebastian Cabot!

• Oh yeah, there's this wolf that appears over and over, always trying to eat Wart. Adds nothing.

• "One big medieval mess!"

• So Merlin is a time traveler and thinks the middle ages suck. He has a pocket watch and a tea set. But no iPhone. Of course...how would he charge it?

• Look! It's Bambi's mom! But we know Kay doesn't kill her because she dies from a gunshot.

• Damn, those are some gnarly woods.

• Archimedes is a jerk.

• A choo-choo train!

• This. This all day long.

• This sugar bowl!

• Tea wasn't drunk in England until the arrival of Charles II's Portuguese wife Catherine of Braganza. The court disliked her but they eventually went bonkers for tea.

• "Impudent piece of crockery!"

• I'm going to blame the lowish quality of these songs on the higher quality of Mary Poppins's songs. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious > Higitus Figitus.

• Why do wizards have such long beards? It's not like chicks having long hair; we can put it up and out of the way if we need or want. Beards are always out there, getting caught in things and catching food. I suppose it's to symbolize age and wisdom. "I'm so busy practicing spells, I have no time to shave."

• Three kids voiced Wart because production took so long. Puberty is cruel mistress.

• Why is Archimedes even around? What purpose does he serve?

• The London Times won't be out for 1200 years...which means this film is set in 585 AD.

• The English people are tired of waiting around for someone to pull the sword from the stone and so they're going to have a tournament (jousting and such) to determine who will become king. Well...they're not really English people are they?

• First lesson! Wart is turned into a fish to learn brains are more important than brawn. Out swimming (and out thinking) your opponent.

• "When he stays out all night, he's always grumpy the next morning." "Then he must stay out every night."

• Well, Archimedes did something nice. Good for him.

• Merlin helps Wart cheat at chores, which is what most of us would use magic for.

• Second lesson! Always look before you leap...as a squirrel.

• I like Squirrel Merlin's mustache.

• Oh no. The girl squirrel.

• "And a redhead, at that." What the hell is that supposed to mean, Merlin?

• "I'm afraid magic can't solve this problem."

• Do squirrels really mate for life? No, according to the internet.

• Oh no, a FAT squirrel with GAP TEETH wants Merlin. It's not so funny when it's happening to you, is it?

• Wart's squirrel comes to his rescue!

• "I am an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man!"

• "Ah, you know, lad, that love business is a powerful thing. "Greater than gravity?" "Well, yes, boy. In its way, I'd, uh... Yes, I'd say it's the greatest force on earth."

• SO SAD.

• "Just because you don't understand something, doesn't mean it's wrong." Too true.

• "The world is ROUND?"

• Cursive! They don't even teach cursive anymore!

• See? Beards are nothing but trouble.

• Shut up, already, Archimedes.

• Third lesson! Flying! Because that exactly the sort of thing a king should know how to do!

• Madame Mim's roof is shaped like a witch's hat! Never noticed that.

• Who is Madame Mim, you ask? You see, there's a serious lack of conflict in this movie so they shoved in a witch. She and Merlin have contest where they turn into a bunch of different animals (re: fun for the animators). What does this teach Wart?

• Still waiting to find out what this teaches Wart...

• "Knowledge and wisdom is the real power."

• What's Merlin and Mim's history? When they do the live action reboot, we'll find out.

• If there's no king, how the fuck did Kay get knighted?

• Merlin is mad because Wart is settling to be a squire instead expanding his mind.

• Who the hell has a tournament in winter, when there's snow on the ground! It's Britain! It's cold!

• Oh no, Wart forgot Kay's sword. Better find another one...Hey look, there's one sticking out of that stone...

• "GIVE THE BOY A CHANCE."

• "Why, they might even make a motion picture about you. "Motion picture?" "Oh. Heh-heh-heh, uh, well, uh, that's something like television... heh-heh... without commercials."

Final Thoughts

So here's the thing about The Sword in the Stone...it's underwhelming. Arthurian legend is huge. There is so much story and so many characters and as we have seen, so many ways those stories can be told and ways those seemingly hundreds of characters can be presented.

And this is what Disney chose to do.

To be fair, showing Arthur's not-yet-so-grand childhood and his introduction to Merlin is going to be the most relatable to America's animated feature going youth in 1963. Yes, fine, I understand not going into his relationship with his cheating wife or the bastard he fathered with his sister. But it's still so very...lacking. The animal transformation lessons are insubstantial. Wart should be learning history, economics, foreign languages, etc. instead of what it's like to fly.

Then there's the slow as molasses in January pace, more godawful xeroxography animation, and the music...oh, the music.

Everyone praises the Sherman Brothers as this great duo of musical genius, but I respectfully disagree. They are okay bordering on great, but only when it comes to Mary Poppins. Just look at this film. All of the songs are just...watery and unmemorable and barely qualify as songs since they are talk-sung ala Rex Harrison. The Sword in the Stone was the first DAF musically helmed by the duo and their reign of pleasantly banal ditties continued until 1977's The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

But wait a minute. If I'm complaining so much, why don't I put this in the Meh pile or Something Amiss? Well, because I like it anyway. I never dread watching The Sword in the Stone when I come upon it. Then again, it's never going to be the first film I snatch off the shelf. I LOL at some of the jokes, I like Wart's Everyboy-ness and Merlin's stereotypical bumbling. And the tone of the whole thing is charming, simplistic, cozy and likable.

By the swinging 60's, Old Walt had pretty much lost interest in his animation studio and was mostly concentrating on his television and theme park endeavors. Although Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was a BIG! FUCKING! DEAL! after its 1937 release, I doubt the man could have known that Disney Animated Feature™®© would become the home video legacy that it is. Nor could he know how eagerly these films would be compared and contrasted to the delight and disdain of snarky millennials, typing away on their blogs at three in the morning. Perhaps if he had known, The Sword in the Stone's production would have been a bit tighter.

Of all the possible DAFs that could fall victim to Disney's recent penchant for live action remakes, I think The Sword in the Stone is the one I would most want to see...because it has the most potential for improvement. The Jungle Book? Beauty and the Beast? The motherfucking Lion King? Those are already good movies. They don't need remakes. (We will discuss Cinderella later.) And guess what? Apparently it is getting remade. Hooray.

Favorite Character

Sugar Bowl

Favorite Moment -- Wart and Merlin's first meeting.
Favorite Song -- "The Sword in the Stone" performed by Fred Darian