The Black Cauldron (1985)

Directed by Ted Berman and Richard Rich
Written by  Ted Berman, Vance Gerry, Joe Hale, David Jonas, Roy Morita, Richard Rich, Art Steven, Al Wilson and Peter Young. Based on The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron by Lloyd Alexander.
Premiered July 24, 1985
80 minutes
Rated PG

Synopsis
In the ancient land of Prydain, a young farm boy named Taran (Grant Bardsley) dreams of being a courageous warrior instead of the lowly assistant pig-keeper of Hen Wen, who is the pet of master Dallben (Freddie Jones). However, Hen Wen is no ordinary pig and she is captured by the minions of the evil Horned King (John Hurt) who wishes to use the pig's clairvoyant powers to locate the Black Cauldron, an object capable of creating a deathless army. Taran sets out to recapture Hen Wen and meets annoying, cowardly, gluttonous Gurgi (John Byner), brave Princess Eilonwy (Susan Sheridan), and bumbling minstrel Fflewddur Fflam (Nigel Hawthorne) who aid him on his mission to find the Black Cauldron before the Horned King uses it to rule Prydain.

Before We Begin
It's quite likely that you've never heard of The Black Cauldron. The story of its troubled production and box office failure is one of legend. More detailed accounts can be found elsewhere on the internet and in the 2009 documentary Waking Sleeping Beauty, which I highly recommend.

But if you ain't got time for that, here's the quick and dirty version: In the 80s, Disney's animation department was having an identity crisis. Instead of adapting a fairy tale (which they hadn't done since 1959) or doing another talking animal movie (which they had been doing since 1967) they decided to go darker and make a Sword & Sorcery animated feature out of The Chronicles of Prydain series, (which they happened to own the rights to) to appeal to the preteen boy movie goer. It did not go well. The film lost money mostly due to its violence induced PG rating and was quickly swept under the rug, only to be quietly released on VHS in 1998.

I don't remember that video release. Do you? It wasn't until my independent study Disney course that I even realized The Black Cauldron existed. I was fascinated by its production especially since I loved another 1985 dark fantasy Disney box office bomb: Return to Oz. That movie is sadly underrated, but The Black Cauldron? Um....

You know we are in the Fondness portion of this journey through the canon so you know my feelings are mostly positive. But why?

Mötley Müsings

• Fun fact: I attempted to read The Book of Three after college. Attempted.

• Whoa, this VHS is not in good shape. Given that this is one of the widescreeniest of the widescreen DAFs, it should probably be viewed in its proper format in HD. Oh well.

• Let me just mention that I totally dig the early 80s Sword & Sorcery aesthetic which is what this movie is.

• Mythic prologue recitation by Hollywood legend John Huston.

• A cat with eyebrows! So fat!

• The Black Cauldron is a prime example of the classic “Hero’s Journey”. It's friggin' textbook.

• “But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!”

• Look, if Lord of the Rings went back in time and knocked the boots with Star Wars, The Black Cauldron would their love child.

• Taran is not terribly likable. Rather bland and whiny. And not as sympathetic as Luke Skywalker. Or Frodo. Or Harry Potter.

• Hen Wen is cool though, especially for a character who doesn’t talk. And she’s a girl.

• The Horned King is grotesque in appearance but generically evil. All powerful, yadda, yadda, yadda…What’s his deal? We never find out. And it doesn’t really matter in the context of this film.

• Oh no. It’s Gurgi, the most grating part of this movie. Stupid, useless, cowardly “comic relief” character who brings nothing but frustration to the table. Until later.

• NAZGUL!

• Blood! Blood in a Disney Animated Feature!

• Taran, you done fucked up.

• Big breasted gypsy dancers. That’s one way to go about getting the teen boys into the theater.

• So violent with Hen Wen! BLOODY CHOPPING BLOCK!!!

• Admittedly, I’d like to watch Lord of the Rings now.

• Princess Eilonwy! And her computer animated bauble! I love her dress and hair.

• How are we supposed to like Taran when he is a grave robber?

• Flewddur Fflam…he talks too much. 

• I say, the constant violence keep this thing alive.

• Magic glowing phallic symbol.

• Horned King Force choking his minion. I don’t know if George Lucas was ripping off Lloyd Alexander or if Disney was ripping off George Lucas.

• “You? I’d say it was the sword’s magic.”

• Childish fight reminds me of Ron and Hermione. Taran is wrong, but Eilonwy overreacts.

• But they make up. Sha na na na.

• Gurgi. Has. Come. Back.

• Plot update: So our group gets sucked into a whirlpool which takes them down to Fairyville where Hen Wen is chilling out. The fairy king reveals the Black Cauldron is hidden in Morva. So they go to Morva to destroy the Black Cauldron before the Horned King gets to it. And just how are they going to do that?

• Three witches, one of whom is very big buxom and fond of Fflewddur Fflam. “You don’t mind if I pluck your harm, do you, handsome?” 

• This is very rapey.

• Taran trades the sword for the Cauldron. But it cannot be destroyed. However, to stop its power, a living being must willingly climb inside. But they will never come out alive. DUN DUN DUN!

• Budding romance…kinda?

• NAZGUL!

• Everyone is captured, except Gurgi who runs away. The Horned King has the Cauldron. Wickedness ensues. Blood. Skeletons. 

• Gurgi frees everyone and Taran decides to sacrifice himself because he’s a moody teen, but Gurgi jumps in instead. I’m okay with that.

• The Horned King gets sucked in. Flesh first, then bones. It's pretty gross.

• “Hero? Gurgi was the hero.” Sigh…it sure looks that way, doesn’t?

• “Oh, I adore forceful men.” Eep.

• The witches want the Cauldron back, so they give them Gurgi back in return. 

• And then he makes Taran and Eilonwy kiss. Eh? 

Final Thoughts

If you consult the history books, they will tell you The Black Cauldron was a box office failure because of its violence and dark tone, that teenagers were never going to be interested in Disney Animated Features no matter how much blood and tits you threw at them. That very well may have been true in 1985. But 32 years later, The Black Cauldron has still failed to become appreciated for "daring to be different" or being "ahead of its time".

It's not the story. You could call it "predictable" but I would call it "tried and true". It's the Hero's Journey. It will never, ever get old. No, it's what was done with the characters--the hero, the sage, the maiden, the villain, etc. Nearly all of them either fail to leave an impression or annoy the ever loving shit out of you. During production, I think the creators were far more focused on developing a gruesome high fantasy environment, fiddling about with Eilonwy's CGI bauble, and making sure they weren't being too twee. (They failed with the fairies, btw.)

Now, how much Lloyd Alexander is to blame for the characterization, I don't know. (That's probably why I tried to read the book in the first place.) So maybe Disney was working with already weak characters. Or maybe they weren't. I couldn't tell you.

But for a hero, Taran isn't very heroic. He wants to be a hero, talks about being a hero, but basically bumbles about making a real ass of himself in the process. He does not prove or redeem himself. The glory falls on Gurgi, whom everyone universally loathes, so the victory feels very hollow. We're happy to see him go and don't want him to come back. Fflewdurr is...eh, as is Dallben. The Horned King is EVILLLLLLL, but so what? So fucking what?

And then there's Eilonwy. She used to be my favorite character in this movie, but this viewing...something was off. She shines sometimes. She speaks her mind, acts bravely--which was pretty progressive for a Disney princess given that her predecessors were Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora--and she's realistic. She isn't perfectly poised all the time. She, like many a preteen girl, is emotional. And that's fine. Oh, but she likes Taran, which, unfortunately, is perfectly believable given that preteen girls seem to have a predilection for liking boys who are unworthy of them. But I don't have to like it.

Everything I've said about The Black Cauldron can pretty much also be applied to the previously reviewed also action driven, also PG rated Atlantis: The Lost Empire. Too much world-building, not enough character development. And these movies suffered similar fates at the box office. To this day, both of them (and another we have yet to get to) are viewed as mutant children, sentenced to be locked away in the moldy rat infested corner of the Disney Vault.

My comments have not been positive and yet The Black Cauldron is in my Fondness category. A lot of it is sheer pity, to be honest. I don't blame the Disney animators for wanting to do something different. The Fox and the Hound was artistically unsatisfying (more on that later) and things were pretty bleak, so why not go balls to the wall in another direction? Also, I don't like everyone shitting on The Black Cauldron. I feel oddly protective for some reason. It's not that bad, people. It's just weak.

Fine, The Black Cauldron is not a "good movie". But I am fond of it.

Favorite Character

Hen Wen

Favorite Moment -- Hen Wen being a pig.
Favorite Song -- N/A