Winnie the Pooh (2011)

Directed by Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall
Written by Stephen J. Anderson, Clio Chiang, Don Dougherty, Don Hall, Kendelle Hoyer, Brian Kesinger, Nicole Mitchell, and Jeremy Spears. Based on the Winnie-the-Pooh stories by A.A. Milne.
Premiered July 15, 2011
63 minutes
Rated G

Synopsis
It's an ordinary day in the Hundred Acre Wood and teddy bear Winnie the Pooh (Jim Cummings), always with a rumbly in his tumbly, goes on a search for honey. On the way, he misinterprets a note from his owner Christopher Robin (Jack Boulter) and asks for help from the educated Owl (Craig Ferguson). Owl is convinced Christopher Robin was kidnapped by an evil monster named the Backson. Pooh gathers up his companions energetic Tigger (Jim Cummings again), neurotic Piglet (Travis Oates), mother and son Kanga (Kristen Anderson-Lopez) and Roo (Wyatt Hall), mature Rabbit (Tom Kenny) and depressed donkey Eeyore (Bud Luckey) to rescue their boy.

Before We Begin
For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I resented Winnie the Pooh throughout my childhood. I think I can pin point it to my mother, who also, for some reason, unbeknownst to me, resented it. Thusly, no video featuring the stuffed bear was ever purchased, rented or viewed until my junior year of high school. I finally bit the bullet and watched The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh simply because it’s part of the canon. I thought I was going to hate it. But I was wrong.

I found it incredibly endearing, sweet, and cute as hell. Instead of being insipid and “preschool” as I had originally thought, Many Adventures introduced me to a delightful cast of characters I had only seen in passing and on the sweatshirts of women at Walmart.

You know the stuff.

So when I heard about a new Winnie the Pooh movie and that it was traditionally animated (!!), I was all for it. And when I finally saw Disney's last (for all we know) traditionally animated feature, I was...disappointed.

Let's see why.

Mötley Müsings
• Fact: this is exactly the third time I will be watching this movie.

• Coming off of Disney's longest animated feature, I am looking forward to this movie's brisk 63 minute run time. (SPOILER: Ten of those minutes are end credits. I shit you not.)

• Live action room! "This could be the room of any small boy." Judging by the serious lack of video game consoles, I'd say any small boy from forty years ago.

• UGH. Zooey Deschanel. TWEE.

• Animation is cleaner than Many Adventures which is to be expected.

• It's very charming.

• And I like the font used in the book. I think it's the same one from the Harry Potter series.

• Eeyore breaking the third wall.

• "Chapter 1: The Birth of a Genius."

• "You have such a talent for speaking and telling us what to do."

• Dude, Pooh is just a G rated version of Homer Simpson.

• Gah. Tigger. I. Don't. Like. Tigger. He's that obnoxious guy your friends always invite to parties and you spend the evening trying to avoid.

• "My tummy is feeling a little eleven o'clockish."

• "Is there honey in this paragraph?"

• So, Eeyore's tail is missing. And now so is Christopher Robin. The "plot" begins.

• The chalkboard sequence! This is good.

• "Back soon? Sounds like Backson." There are no stakes and even the movies knows this. It just feels odd.

• Rabbit...there is something not quite right about you...I liked you better when you were a cranky old fusspot. Now you're just goofy.

• "I probably deserved that."

• "Do you want to come to party Saturday night?"
"Will Tigger be there?"
"Yeah, man, Tigger's a blast."
"...I suppose."

• I get what they're trying to do by pairing up Tigger and Eeyore, but I just feel exhausted.

• "No honey before honey, honey."

• All right...I want some honey.

• Rabbit's day dream. Nice.

• "Something tells me I was better off with Tigger."

• "It lags a bit in the middle." Uh-huh.

• Cartoony.

• Oh look. Christopher Robin is back.

• A balloon can't eat honey!

• Owl, you didn't notice it was Eeyore's tail? Like, really?

• Damn, that's a lot of honey.

• 53 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Final Thoughts
Well, I was wrong. I certainly shouldn't have ranked this so low. It was enjoyable. An enjoyable piece of fluff. An enjoyable, somewhat insignificant piece of fluff.

Look, it's only 53 minutes long which is unheard of when it comes to major motion pictures released by giant movie studios in the 21st century. I have not read any of the Winnie the Pooh books by A.A. Milne so I don't know how many of the stories were already used up by The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and the various TV series and Direct-to-Video features. I'm guessing a good chunk if they couldn't pad this out to 70 minutes including credits.

Is it the running time that's really bugging me? No. The stakes in WTP are just so very low. Of course, the stakes in the three shorts that make up Many Adventures are also low. But that film is segmented. Three beginnings, three middles, three ends. The stakes don't have to get high to hold our attention. As consumer of adult entertainment (no, not that kind), I am used to more conflict and I just feel too old for this movie. It is a truly G rated kids film. There is nothing to upset the delicate sensibilities of little children here.

(Isn't it fucking bonkers that The Hunchback of Notre Dame is also rated G? I digress...)

So yes, Winnie the Pooh does not belong in the Something Amiss category. (I reserve the right to rename these categories as I please.) I liked it and I appreciate its existence, but if Disney ever wants to resurrect classic 2D animation, it's going to need something far more grandiose.

One last thought: nothing dates this movie more than the inclusion of Zooey Deschanel.

Favorite Character

Winnie the Pooh

Favorite Moment -- The chalkboard sequence about the Backson.
Favorite Song -- "A Very Important Thing to Do" sung by Zooey Deschanel