Bolt (2008)

Directed by Chris Williams and Byron Howard

Written by Dan Fogelman and Chris Williams

Premiered November 21, 2008

96 minutes

Rated G

Synopsis

A White Shepherd dog (John Travolta) stars as the title character of the action driven TV show Bolt along with his real life tweenage owner Penny (Miley Cyrus), where he possesses superpowers he uses to save her week after week. Having known no other life and tricked by his Hollywood handlers and the show's director to get the most realistic performance possible, Bolt believes he truly does possess superpowers. After a cliffhanger episode where Penny is kidnapped, Bolt sets out to rescue her, escaping his trailer and inadvertently ending up in New York City. Bolt quickly realizes his powers have disappeared so he insists on the help of a streetwise alley cat named Mittens (Susie Essman), whom he assumes, because she is feline, to be working for his nemesis, the cat loving Dr. Calico (Malcolm McDowell). With Mittens's help, Bolt heads towards Los Angeles to rescue Penny, gaining insight on what it means to be a real dog along the way.

Before We Begin

A little history: Bolt was first titled "American Dog" and it was a lot weirder but followed the similar premise of stranded TV star dog. It was the next project of Chris Sanders a.k.a. the guy who directed Lilo & Stitch. The project was still in production when John Lasseter became Chief Executive Officer and he had a few ideas on how to improve the story. Sanders pitched them in the circular file and was then soon let go. The story was revamped and released 18 months later under a new title. Bummer for Sanders, but considering my loathsome feelings towards Lilo & Stitch, I can't help but feel I would like Lasseter's version more anyway.

Even though I saw first saw Bolt on a date with an ex-boyfriend whom I'd like to forget, I don't let that stop me from enjoying it. By late 2008, I was somehow aware these CGI Disney animated features were part of the canon so I surrendered and decided that I might as well take my butt to the theater to see it. I remember liking it. I remember crying a little too. That's always a good sign.

Mötley Müsings

• I have NOT seen The Truman Show.

• I totally believe in animal rescue, but I do not have the strength to enter an animal shelter. Someone would have to choose for me.

• Yes, I like this pro-shelter message.

• Baby Disney characters are always cute.

• But I have some questions...did she adopt him to be in the show or was the show built around her and the dog???

• Flip phone!

• So TV Bolt had been genetically modified. 

• I'm liking how Penny is a girl but not overtly a Girl. Although it does piss me off that her name is Penny because we've already got a heroine named Penny in the Disney canon. LAZY.

• Action...

• Polaroids, though. I was around in 2008 and I don't remember anyone using a Polaroid camera. We used digital cameras because the cameras on our phones were subpar.

• But like...how does the dog not see the cameras and the crew and all the other equipment?

• "If the dog believes it, the audience believes it." K.

• That poor dog must be so stressed!!! Where is PETA in all this!?

• Oh God...I am not in  good hormonal place to be watching this.

• Love the smarmy agent. 

• "Let's put a pin in it."

• Those cats are mean, BUT I WANT TO PET THE FLUFFY FAT ONE.

• Poor deluded puppy.

• How did he not suffocate in that box? This is a movie

• Goodfellas pigeons. I dig it. And the animation on them is GREAT.

• Enter Mittens. Disney, you need more cats in your movies!!!

• "Your deal just expired."
"She said that to me not ten minutes ago. The irony!"

• "Now I'm concerned on a number of levels."

• So now they're in a U-Haul headed to L.A. That's convenient. (Sorry to be a party pooper, but this movie is stretching it a lot already.) Why did he have to be shipped to New York? Just across town would be enough of an adventure. LOS ANGELES IS A GIANT SCARY URBAN LABYRINTH.

• Of course the begging doesn't work for Mittens.

• "Yeah...scary."

• Rhino can be exhausting. I couldn't take a movie with Rhino as the lead. Which is maybe why I would like Lilo & Stitch better if Stitch were not front and center. Just a thought.

• "I'll get a ladder."

• Uh oh. It's the Fuzz.

• Ha. He really got a ladder. That's very humorous.

• A replacement Bolt? That is so not cool.

• Poor jaded Mittens. She makes me want to pick the ugliest cat at the shelter. By the way, I am not allowed to go to the shelter or else I'd bring home ten cats. True story.

• Elmwood County. They're in Illinois.

• Adopt a Pet Week!

• "There's a guard."
"I'll snap his neck."

• Bolt learns how to be a dog from Mittens montage.

• Oh no. The emotional part. "They leave her, wondering what she did wrong." WAAAAHHHHH. Those assholes.

• "That meat lover's pizza is not loving me back."

• L.A. pigeons. Yes. Yes, please.

• "Whole wheat is not the same thing as whole grain!"

• BOO. PIXAR JOKE.

• Oh, man. Never cried at that part before. 

• Poor Bolt 2! WHERE IS PETA!?

• AND HE SAVES HER AFTER ALL! Probably one of my favorite action ending moments in a movie.

• Not a good PMS movie. Watch this only if you want to be emotionally wrecked.

• Everyone gets adopted!

• And then here's a weird end credits song where Miley Cyrus and John Travolta duet because he was a singer, damnit! Remember Grease?

Final Thoughts

Sorry to disappoint you all, but I don't have much to say about this one. My feelings are all positive if I don't get too bogged down with the logistical nightmare of tricking a dog into believing he's a superhero and filming it without him knowing. Given that the movie is so obsessed with what's real and what's not, it's hard to shut off my brain on all that. 

But I cried in the end. I cried a lot. And that always counts for something with me. So Bolt is a movie I like, even if I don't find it a stone cold masterpiece. They can't all be, you know.

Hey, Disney! Make more cat movies!!!

Favorite Character

Mittens

Favorite Moment -- Bolt saves Penny, for real this time.

Favorite Song -- "Barking at the Moon" performed by Jenny Lewis...kinda default, but it's okay.