Directed by Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders
Written by Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois
Premiered June 21, 2002
85 minutes
Rated PG
Synopsis
In a far off galaxy, Dr. Jumba Jookiba (David Ogden Stiers) is on trial for creating destructive alien Experiment 626 (Chris Sanders). Jumba is found guilty and 626 is sentenced to life on an asteroid. However, he commandeers a spaceship and crash lands on the island of Kaua'i and is eventually taken to an animal shelter. Meanwhile a troubled young girl named Lilo (Daveigh Chase) convinces her financially struggling sister and sole guardian Nani (Tia Carrere) to adopt a puppy. Nani acquiesces but Lilo chooses 626 who she renames Stitch. With social worker Cobra Bubbles (Ving Rhames) watching Nani's every move and Jumba and Earth expert Pleakley (Kevin McDonald) after Stitch, the fragile family tries to stick together in spite of Stitch's destructive nature.
You should know right now that Lilo & Stitch is my least favorite Disney Animated Feature. Yes, I dislike it more than Dinosaur, more than Chicken Little, and far more than all other purported "worst" DAFs.
But, but, but...it's the one that made money! It was the one bright spot in the post-Renaissance! How can you not like it, Disney Doxy?
Let me tell you a little story. I was a school field trip. It was actually a "Reward Day" for those students who got good enough grades and didn't get detention. Our reward was to see a movie. (I'm pretty sure it was Snow Dogs starring Academy Award winner Cuba Gooding, Jr.) During the previews, there was a scene from Beauty and the Beast, a movie I am quite fond of (understatement). So there was Belle and the Beast dancing to their theme song. Then the camera panned to this giant, hideous blue bug crawling on the ceiling. It climbed onto the chandelier causing it to crash to floor, effectively ruining one of the most romantic scenes in cinema history. Belle stormed off angrily (and uncharacteristically). Then we jumped into a regular trailer with AC/DC's "Back in Black" under scoring.
Well, fuck you, too, Lilo & Stitch. You just made an enemy for life.
I put off watching the movie until the inaugural DAF marathon in 2006. I did not like it.
Mötley Müsings
• Oh right. I'm supposed to be positive. Uh huh. I'll try oh-so-hard. Let's just get this fucking over with.
• You know...I'm not a beach chick. I would much rather tour castles in Europe than hang out on a Hawaiian beach. That's the kind of person I am.
• Like with Pocahontas and Brother Bear sharing the "Native American" angle, I'm glad Moana is coming out to share the "south Pacific" setting with this movie.
• Space! Enough with space already, Disney!
• Stitch is evil. He was created to be evil. Will he turn good by movie's end? Can he?
• Stitch is also just gross.
• The aliens resemble animals with random antennae. #lazy
• Heh. Movie is pro-evolution.
• Lilo is annoying. She is disturbed. She is violent. I don't like children to begin with. But evil children...evil fictional children are on a whole other level.
• About her doll: “I made her, but her head is too big. So I pretend a bug laid eggs in her ears, and she’s upset because she only has a few more days to…”
• I appreciate that Nani is drawn like a real woman.
• I feel bad for Nani having to take on the responsibility of raising her little sister. That fucking sucks. Especially a monster like Lilo.
• Lilo is voiced by Daveigh Chase who played Samara in The Ring. Yeah. Coincidence? I think not.
• Lilo is a liar.
• "My friends need to be punished." Why!? Why do people like this movie? How can they possibly think Lilo is a good character, someone worth rooting for? HATE, HATE, HATE.
• "I need someone to be my friend." Well, stop being a little shit! It's not because you're weird, it's because you're violent!
• Okay, I'm pretty sure the people at the animal shelter could recognize that Stitch is clearly not an animal. Why didn't they call the feds? What the fuck?
• All right, Nani, you've lost me. You have three days to get your shit together and impress the social worker and you are taking on more responsibility by adopting a dog. You are fucking stupid.
• Stitch is gross. And Lilo is a poor judge of character. I hate these characters.
• Theft! They just stole that little girl's Big Wheel. This is not okay!
• Oh yeah. Elvis provides the soundtrack. Could be worse.
• Why is Lilo walking around unsupervised?
• David's okay for a bland Disney hero.
• "Don't worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary." "She thinks it's fancy?" And yet another reason to dislike Lilo!
• Yes! Yes! Take him back! CALL THE FEDS!
• The concept of 'ohana: 'ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. #moralofthestory
• I mean, we know by the end that Cobra Bubbles worked with alien invasions before he must recognize that Stitch is a fucking alien! Why doesn't he do something about it!?
• There are elements of Frankenstein here...
• "Elvis Presley was a model citizen." WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
• "I'm sure Elvis had his bad days, too."
• Like, Nani is not that bad...I want to like her. If only she had listened to me and not adopted stupid fucking Stitch.
• Yeah, Stitch. You suck.
• The hammock scene. Nice. Truly like that. Truly touching.
• "You abuse me because you miss your family" Lilo basically says. Great message, Disney.
• This emotional portion is good. Too bad I hate Stitch. He better fucking redeem himself and quick.
• Lilo & Stitch goes to dark places. PG dark places. But the unlikable characters make it hard for me to feel sympathetic.
• "So she's gone?" "Look at the bright side: you won't have to yell at anyone any more."
• Here comes the big action sequence at the end. Space. Explosions. Blah, blah, blah. I am checking out now...
• Too little too late. Just end already!
Final Thoughts
Look, I never said Lilo & Stitch was the worst movie in the Disney canon. I said it was my least favorite and that is quite a different thing. Frankly I am too biased to ever do a proper "movie critic" ranking of these movies. Emotions get in the way.
Lilo & Stitch has good moments. It has some good themes. It's not banal. But it is ridiculously overrated. Part of the reason why it made so much money (and I am thankful to it for keeping traditional Disney animation afloat for a little while longer) is because it cost relatively nothing (compared to Treasure Planet, at least) to make. And the characters appealed to kids and teenage girls.
I've come to the conclusion that if Lilo & Stitch were one of the less popular DAFs, one that only a handful of people liked, I would feel differently towards it. I understand there may be a cult following to any movie, after all. But lots of people, lots of women my age, love this movie and it bugs the shit out of me. Why is there celebration of these awful characters? How can some people think Lilo and Stich are cute? What is cute about destruction, abuse, voo doo, and snot jokes? What!? WHAT!? WHAT!? TELL ME, PLEASE.
I can't be the only one who doesn't like this movie. So I urge you, fellow haters, to speak out! It's okay! You are not alone!
Favorite Character
 |
This frog that watches Stitch get run
over by a semi and does
nothing...heh, heh, heh.
|
Favorite Moment -- Lilo and Nani stay goodbye on the hammock.
Favorite Song -- "(You're the) Devil in Disguise" performed by Elvis Presley
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